| [ Crackpot :: 2001-08-01
] ( Views: 128 ) |
Looking at my own self, at my own desires. What will I become? What am I becoming? 10 years from now what will I be? An empty human being like so many I see? 10 years will pass by, they go by so fast. I can see it as I look 10 years into the past. Where was I standing 10 years ago today? Breaking my back for love that would later betray. Now here I stand alone on the empty train platform, my spirit dead to love - travel-weary and worn wondering if God has had his fill of me or if there is some hope ahead that I just can't see. A cracked pot of clay at the back of the line, a weary battered vessel in a state of decline. That pot might be patched with a lump of clay or earth but I fear I must be re-fired to be of any real worth. Broken, not again - God, how much longer? To be host for your spirit, how much stronger? 10 years ago I sang with hope of the purifying Fire, I believe in you, Refiner, but now I'm just so tired - oh so very tired... Tired of hypocrisy, tired of my shelf, tired of Christianity, but even more tired of myself. But somehow I'll keep walking, keep wandering, keep failing, keep crawling, keep falling, and find what I was meant to be - or die missing it entirely. |
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